XZZZZZ

im on the phone with jo(:
hahahah trying to do physics.
my teacher is a total weirdo.
she skips questions without explaing.
damn mean.
then we dunno question time she scold.
wtp?
she's strange.
pms everyday lah she.
i want to sleep.
everybody fell asleep when they got home
jo.
sherilyn.
and marissa WANTS to sleep. lol

dont you ever want to be in control? i hate how people affect my mood because of what they do. i want to be able to chose what i want to feel.
your bitchiness isnt going to make me feel pain anymore.
because its not good for me. im gonna surround myself with better friends.
friends who actually dare to talk to me.

VANILLA TWILIGHT!

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here


© OCEAN CITY PARK;

go away

ARGH. im gonna actually post about my day for once(:

this morning....I WAS EARLY :D
YAYAYAYAYAYAY lol.
and xintian was like woah someone's early today huh?
and i found out only during lunch that she was at ballet exam
(oops.) hope you did fantabulous babe!
oh yeah so english, we were planning for NE presentation on thursday. I think we'll be awesome lah
heeheeheeeeeeeee (im high)
anyway, yeah then e maths i copy of zhou xian like siao! THEN MY HAND PAIN! lol
oh and sherilyn was telling me about dominic the entire time
eeeeeee jikopek. lol (:
recess was a joke damn funny.
thennnnnn chem.
omg i fell asleep! oops! lol.
then sherilyn woke me up D:
she whack my table!
MEANIE.
yeah so anyway then chinese was damn boring.
i did social studies notes (:
prioritizing! hahahahahaha jo!
then phototaking. im gonna look totally awesome and retarded! YAY.
and what else?
ummmm the no physics :D
heeeheeeeee and then a maths. total chionging of ss.
thanks sherilyn for lending me your answer! HAHAHAHAHAHA
oh then lunch was chionged. saw some people.
some people pretended that they didnt see me but oh wellllllllllll
anyway, then CT.
I DO NOT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT! -.-
then debate.
LATIFA IS HILARIOUS.
being her reserve is awesome lah.
we were totally crapping and looking at photos of taylor lautner and aaron johnson!
both so hot(:
teehee.
adj's scores came back. the cheif was a joke lah please.
he gave sanjana the lowest. wtp? -.-
and she was named best speaker.
he sucks basically.
yeah. im going to go finish my homework now.
okaybye.

PHEW

omg the holidays have passed by so fast
i still remember during school when i was counting the days till i finally get my break
but it wasnt a break at all
yeah i slept late everynight
yeah i went out everyday
but it was purposeful!

Monday: support JNSX at NAG and a maths tuition
Tuesday: support again and stayed over at jo's
Wednesday: little bakers and support
Thursday: little bakers
Friday: debate and english project

and now im wasting my time here when i should be doing homework.
i havent completed anything that is due tmrr
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
its 10;25
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
okay bye

SIGHING

..........i dunno what to say.
i say you today
i got so scared
i wanted to say hi
no words wanted to come out
you just stared
then turned away
as if i wasnt there
you must be kidding me right?
after all we've been through together and you treat me like THAT.

i saw you again in the bookshop
i cant believe i managed to pull myself together
i said HI
you just stared at me in a state of shock for only he know's WHAT reason.
and said hi too
why were you shocked?
do you think IM too scared to say hi???
im brave enough okay!
im not some chicken shit who's going to ignore you
not like you.
but you got to know
im putting in the effort.
because I still care.
i dunno about YOU anymore.
but i still love you.
i just hope you know.







i just hope you're reading this

IM NOT WORTHY

I cant believe im wasting my time
im up at night wondering if you're worth it
i really wanna be friends with you
im making an effort
but nothing seems to be coming out of it
i dont know whether you'll read it
because it seems like you're practically pretending i dont exist
you pretend its not me waiting behind her while she talks to you
you pretend its not me who's walking pass you
its not me saying hi
its not me smsing you
its not me TRYING TO MAKE THIS FRIENDSHIP WORK!
whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy arent you talking to me??????
i thought you said nothing could come between us
i read the letters you wrote
i read the message convos we have
but it seems like i've done something wrong?
have i?
cause it doesnt seem like im not the only one seeing this
they see it to
they're angry too
but i think you dont realise we want to be your friends
at least i still want to be
i still love you
some of them are telling me this isnt worth it
and i dunno whether it is because it seems like there's something wrong with us being friends
it seems like you've found someone who replaced us
who replaced me
well if you really wanna get rid of me fine,
but rmb im still here
i still love you
i just hope you dont make a mistake
i hope you dont realise what's going to happen
i hope nothing happens to you
because I STILL CARE.
i dont want to see you hurt.