schedule

gosh my life is so packed currently

it seems like i have to be doing something every single moment,

im so scared of when i'll finally crack :/

monday

school till 3pm

cca till 6pm

tuition from 7-9pm

tuesday

school till 3pm

cca till 6pm

tuition from 7-9pm

wednesday

school till 230pm

tuition 7-9pm

thursday

school till 2pm

cca till6pm

friday

school till1:30pm

cca till 6pm

what if i break?

whoo, im so tired recently.

and i've been sick again "whoopdedoo"

okay im a wee bit high right now cause i just took another dosage of painkillers,

wet floors should be illegal.

i landed on my back again and even with my school bag to "cushion" the floor, its just as bad.

the initial shock was horrible at first but the pain hasnt worn off like the last time

and im assuming it's becausethat incident, i had time to rest whereas i rushed off for school with this one.

hmmm.... bones are funny but i've got an appointment with the chiropractor tmr,

mum's afraid it might be a trapped nerve, though i think its highly unlikely.

but how else am i getting sharp pains down my arms and legs?

sigh, why is it always me? :/

any who!

suju just arrived, sigh if only haley didn't see the tickets first.

why are parents so biased all the time?

i know they dont admit it and say they love us equally but COME ON,

it's human nature to obciously be biased to ONE kid.

it's hard NOT to pick a favourite right?

and i know this decision was made based on pure guilt, no matter how many times you guys want to deny it.

but whatever, i'm still lucky to be here i guess?

and well, everything happens for a reason so i'll live.

gosh i'm watching chopped right now,

what if life really was like this?

that if you weren't good enough, if you didn't fit the standard or criteria, you'd be cut off just like that.

no sorry, no helping you with mistakes, just a simple sentence.

you've been "chopped".

hmm maybe school isn't such a bad thing, they let you learn and make mistakes.

the working world seems so....hmmm stressful?

i can't seem to find the right word at the moment.

i might edit this post if i can think of it.

but whatever!

omg i'm in such a weird mood right now, just moving from topic to topic!

oh and my head's been SPINNING with new storylines but i can never find the time to write them down ):

there's the car shop story, the collin one, the blake one, the purity ring! AHHH TOO MANY STORYLINES.

and i'll just be stoning and i'll suddenly just think of a scene.

gosh if only i had a break to write out the entire story line :/

but, i'll survive!

life

so i think i kinda need to blog more often because my blog needs a revival.

and so does my tumblr, even that's like dead.

eh? *shrugs*

anyway, it seems like problems seem to spring up at every point in time now a days.

they may be small or big but they still trouble me.

got hit with some news today, haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since i heard it.

worries me so much.

i don't know what to do about it, should i step in?

should i let it be?

im confused, and i know that like what we learned today i need to put the weight on god.

and i need to have faith that the answer of what to do will come soon,

but you cant blame a girl for worrying right?

basic emotions of hormonal teenage girl.

sigh, it'll get easier.

we have to look positive.

on a brighter note, my mother finally found me a chem and physics tuition teacher.

down side? he'll be out for reservice for the whole of february.

and mrs chan is still on materity leave.

ugh.

i suddenly have this motivation to do well and study hard,

but how can i do so when im so tired all the time? :/

oh and i just found out something, i work better in silence, talking to myself.

anyway, i should be going to bed. long day tmr

tests, work, new teachers, training.

well in a strange way im pretty pumped up for it.

excuse my weirdness but yah, i look forward to it ^^

okay so i'm going to watch videos till i fall asleep again.

seems like its the only way i can fall asleep these days

for the pass two weeks i've been helping you deal with your girlfriend.

i took it lightly, just like your pass girlfriends.

two months ago you asked me how to ask her out,

looks like my advice worked.

you said i rocked cause my advice always seems to work.

but as much as i want to say i dont want to help or im busy,

i cant. cause seeing you happy makes me so happy.

how is this even possible?

you shouldnt have sent the signals,

maybe this wouldnt have even happened in the first place and we would just be best friends.

to each other, nothing more nothing less.

i dont know why i even helped you composed the letter when it made me ache as i wrote it.

then we webcammed, so happy to see you after a year.

and what did you have to do?

show me what she looked like, show me a picture of you guys kissing.

and then today your sister comes to me and says "oh did you know my brother got a girlfriend"

oh boy do i know.

why does it seem like i cant remove you?

if only life were so simple as to have a delete button.

okay im bored so i just decided to post all my edits. please excuse me.

Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost;

No birth, identity, form - no object of the world,

Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;

The body, sluggish, aged, cold - the embers left from earlier fires,

......shall dully flame again.

- Walt Whitman

Love this poem (L)

so much meaning behind those few lines.

we can never forget anything, part of it will always last in our memories.

even though it may not be accessible, it has still been etched into our minds.

it may take a while to get it back, but you CAN get it back.

it is now i understand why they say you never stop loving someone, no matter what happens. you just learn to live without that love returned. you can never forget the love you gave them or the love they gave you.

today was the first day of school,

wasn't too happy with the teachers given for our class.

kind of disappointed actually,

but i think the best part was that we had the same class and everyone was already comfortable.

if not for several small issues i think i'd be really happy with my class.

hmm well anyway its time for a fresh start!

no overdue homework,

no missing school,

no more being late.

well hopefully i can do it! :P