Worrying

Darren just told me that we might get suspended from CCA because of our BT1 results. NO NO NO NO THAT'S NOT FAIR NO ONE EVER SAID THINGS LIKE THAT T_T

I'm honestly quite scared that it will happen. Even though I know some of my seniors didn't get suspended last year, I dont know what the welfare committee could be thinking about in order to improve our grades. But I am fear stricken right now, thinking about what could possibly happen when it comes to debate. Imran talked yesterday about how blessed I am, fighting with Reuben only for the first speaker position. AND IT IS DAMN SCARY BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE MY STYLE TO WIN ME OVER and there are so many days where I screw that up :/ SIGH. I cannot afford to get nervous and lose confidence and I pray pray pray to God that he controls my anxiety and grants me peace and wisdom. I want to be able to let people enjoy listening to my speeches.

I don't wanna let 4 years of hard work get thrown away.