Faith.

I still can't believe I had that moment of weakness and doubt. And I think for the first time in my life I felt so helpless and broken like nothing was going to make anything better. But hearing Jo's words really made me suddenly calm down during this hysterical meltdown. In times of struggle it's when you gotta call out and trust in Him even more. Rely on Him because he's not gonna show himself unless I fully submit and place every single ounce of faith in Him. 

And as much as I'm freaking about Econs and Lit consultation and Math and my health and my sleep cycle and about so much other shit, I guess I feel at ease knowing that He's taking care of it. 

I honestly never felt so lost during a GP paper before. I can't believe I changed question 50 minutes into the paper. I can't believe I didn't think it more carefully. I can't believe I allowed my Lit essay to lack so much analysis. I don't know where to begin right now. I am at such a loss and I really would like prelims to be another two weeks away but guess what they're here and they're here to help me learn from my mistakes and teach me how to be better prepared for A levels. 

I just hope I don't end up having a mental breakdown after every paper.