There such a huge part of me that wishes that I studied harder during the holidays and during term 2. But it's over. And I wouldn't trade my time at debate for anything in the world. I can't believe we're actually planning a gathering together, I really never imagined having such a team that I bonded with a grew so much with. I miss staying till 11pm, even if it meant coming to school all corpse-like and brain dead. I miss having my entire Saturdays spent at different JCs, sparring and learning from 9 in the morning till the sun went down and then we'd go for team dinner together. I miss hanging with my two teammates who I knew I could count on and would be there if I was freaking out. But they're not here. And I don't understand why I don't have the same drive as I did during season.
It seems like there was something to prove at the end of the day. Maybe it was always knowing that Imran didn't think I was good enough and didn't want me to participate in the Duman High Open. But hmm... what do I have to prove now? I know I want to do well and show people I can, but the year is coming to an end and I'm just so tired. I really am. Is it ever enough?
It's supposed to hurt right? I'm glad it is at least starting to.
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