Sundays.

Today was one of the first Sundays in a long time that I had spent the day with my family members and only my family members. And honestly, it's been one of the best days I've had this year. 

Aunty Amy invited everyone out for lunch to thank all of us for helping out at the funeral and to come together as an entire family again cause I think some had been shying away ever since Ah Por passed. Anyway; it really just very refreshing and comforting to be back in that environment that was so full of love. It was a place I knew that I wouldn't be judged no matter what ridiculous actions I did or no matter what I said. Everyone could be who they were and they were gonna be accepted. Lunch was filled with teasing and recalling silly memories, laughing at stupid jokes and just catching up on each other's lives. In a weird way, lunch made me realise why family was always so important. Somehow, the bonds that we all shared and that remained so strong even after weeks of not speaking, showed that nothing could stand in the way of family. These people would really go through thick and thin for me.

After lunch, went back to the house for the first time since it happened and it did feel... different. Like there was a piece of a puzzle missing. But everyone did what they could to try and change the mood, make it better, especially for the kids. I swear, seeing about 11 adults gather around the coffee table to be taught by the kids how to make friendship bracelets for each other was so adorable and made me smile so wide that my cheeks were hurting. Getting to hug my niece and nephews and having them FINALLY remember my name (because they'd always forget it since I'm never around as often now because of school + work) was definitely one of the highlights of the week. Putting on crazy wigs and dancing around to kpop songs, trying to entertain the kids was also so damn funny my sides were aching after laughing so hard at Phong Mai and Che Eunice. 

When I had to leave, Aunty Amy shouted, "Don't disappear ah!! Visit more often." I promised I would and I'm gonna make sure I keep that promise because how on earth can someone deny the opportunity to spend it with your family and the people who know how to make you happy so easily? 

Despite the fact that for every damn second I was left to my own thoughts, I thought of you, if I am so much happier with these people, then maybe, just maybe I don't need you.