All I want

Tonight, I finally realized what I really wanted in life. Like what I really, genuinely, truly wanted to achieve at the end of the day.

For some people, it may be to be successful and achieve fame and be surrounded by all the luxury that life could possibly provide.

For others, it could be trying to fill that void in their hearts by finding as many people to love them and go through them one-by-one in search of that one who will finally be good enough to rid you of that insecurity.

For others, it could be to do really well in everything that they try and accomplish - getting straight As, having the best job possible, going to the best places and buying the biggest house, topping competitions etc.

For me, I realised that I want to be happy and the way to that is to be surrounded by people who love God just as much as I do. I want that love of God they have to overflow from them and be poured out onto me as well so that I may be supported and encouraged to do whatever God asks of me. Even if it means sacrificing precious studying time to go and buy groceries and help set up food for an evangelical event. I want to be able to be stripped of insecurities and judgements and be real and honest with people. I want to just laugh and not have to feel like I'm not going to lose out by choosing to spend time with loved ones.

Tonight, I was so grateful to ECF for reminding me what I want in life and to never lose site of it. I want to be able to go make disciples of all nations so that all people can truly be like this and have that same love for God and be able to understand why you do things the way you do. Thank you ECF, for being this community that I needed and that I lacked after leaving my friends in secondary school and JC. Even if it was for a short while, thank you for making the last few weeks of my stay worthwhile.

I may regret my decision to leave, but I know that God brought me to EH this sem for a very good reason. And I know that he has other things in store for me next sem. If I'm meant to be in Sheares then so be it and if he wants to take me somewhere else, or if he wants me to stay at home or even by some miraculous fate, he wants me to stay in EH. Well, I'll be so grateful for letting him continue to surround me with good people.

Note: This night, although fun, made me miss my usuals even more. - Talking about you Animals and Oranges.