Songs of our past

I find it really cool how a certain song can bring you back to a memory.

Ronan Keaton's Life is a Rollercoaster bfing me back to Primary Three - sitting in the back of mum's car as I go to and from school, reading my DC comics book.

Gwen Stefani's Sweet Escape brings me to playing Nintendo Dogs on my DS in the back of mum's car during Primary Five - engrossed in feeding and training my favourite black lab, Cookie. I still remember that I had named all my dogs after food lol.

Tokio Hotel's Monsoon brings me back to days of Sec One where I was still trying to find myself, trying to find who I was and what I liked and what kind of person I wanted to be.

SHINee's Hello brings me to memories of Secondary Three - of playing, of not studying, of falling sick, of spending all my time falling in love with a new band.

Maroon 5's One More Time brings me to preparations for OP after promos in J1 - struggling to remember lines, trying to fight feelings and trying to do well.

Pentatonix's Problem takes me to studying for my first university exams - trying to come to terms with my new phase of life, but relying on old comforts to make me feel better.

But there is one song I love, but takes me to a place of so much pain that I don't know if I should still listen to it. SHINee's Symptoms. This song is in my iTune's Top 25 played songs. Since I've had the song at the end of 2014, it's been played a total of 363 times. Well 364 now that I'm listening to it. I love it to death - the lyrics, the fact that it's sung by favourite band, the feeling of the song, the fact that it was written by Jonghyun. But there are so many bad memories tied to it that sometimes when I listen to it, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

Memories of sitting in C103 - all that stupid worrying about A levels, about that stupid frog who was sitting next to me or ALWAYS a few seats away, all those twisted emotions and high level of stress. I still remember you catching me dance and hum to the damn song.

I wish it was tied to happier times, to things that didn't make me feel like I was about to have a panic attack. It's funny how some songs just stick with you because you listen to it, but some because it's played during a traumatic experience. I certainly hope the memories attached to this song are replaced by happier ones - just like how I'm slowly replacing the places we've been to with happier times instead of avoiding them.