Independence.

I wish you were here to slap me out of this state of mind and tell me what's important and what to focus on. 

They're right when they say you never know how important something is until it's gone. 

I never knew I relied so much on you for advice and guidance and courage and protection. I wish there were at least some way we could talk. Talk without others being around. But I don't want to be selfish, that's the last thing I want to be. 

So here's to turning to other things, most importantly, turning to God and attempting to grow up and be slightly more independent.