Jeremiah 29:11

i love this verse so much,

whenever i have a bad day i just read it and things begin to get better.

if you're going through a rough patch,

just remember that god is always there for you no matter what.

and everything happens for a reason because it is in his great plan for it to be that way.

i need to trust in him more and not take everything for granted.

he's given us all these things so that we can live a life for him.

he'll always be there to catch us when we fall.

which really reminds me of that story about the footprints in the sand.

the man asks god why at his own most troubled times there were only one pair of footprints.

and god answered because it was then that he carried him.

he'll be walking with us throughout our journey.

whispering words of wisdom and holding us up every now and then.

noob

tmr i shall seriously start doing all my work,

sherilyn just scared the shit out of me about o's.

honestly, what if i'm never ready? :/

im too scared to think of the consequences.

ahhhh distracting myself right now with other thoughts.

i wanna watch harry potter for a forth time ):

lol, how ridiculous am i?

people watch it once and i want to watch it seven times.

i know the torments i shall receive for wanting to do so, hehehe.

but bring it man, im a pothead for life.

okay that sounded sooooo wrong,

like i were a druggie.

hehehehe ^^

hmmm its 11;53pm.

i keep telling myself i should go to bed but im not tired yet :/

this is what happens when i wake up at like 10:30am.

my body clock is totally screwed up.

thank god i only have training tmr,

shit just remembered im broke so i have to take the train to training.

if i get asked to do a security check i really will be pissed man ):

im such a noob.

honestly.

hmmm i need to stop saying that.

LOL.

"the last enemy shall be destroyed is death"

- 1 Corinthians 15;26

JK Rowling put this on Lily and James' graves.

it means living pass out mortal lives.

it means living after death, with god.

where we will finally live happy and perfect lives.

the heart is a muscle.

and what happens when a muscle tears.

it grows back STRONGER

im acting like some emo kid right now.

sitting in the corner of my bed with my laptop

all the lights are off but the television which has been muted.

slow songs blasting from my computer

a tub of ice cream accompanying me at this time of the day.

honestly, today i cried twice and i don't know why.

all i knew is that i felt better after it.

its always better to let things out, just don't keep them in.

sigh, i don't even want to go on holiday anymore.

i just want to stay on the computer the whole day.

i wanna escape everything.

please?

this is not the reality any of us wanted.

monsoon.

okay i just realised selena gomez can't sing live either ):

but i like her song a year without rain.

more like a damn decade.

UGH.

hahahah anyways today was fun :D

little bakers,

i think i was lucky!

hahahah, i got the guai-est group? but they were kinda noisy, at least they listened!

can't wait for tmr where we have NO more sticky things!!

wish the usuals were there though ):

after, went to eat kfc with momo!

BANDITO POCKET :D

then went to kallang bowl!

me likey my new balls!!! (sounds wrong :/)

bowled pretty well after breaking in my new ball,

then momo sent me to changi airport!

yay tmr there's a sleepover!! :D

BAND HERO AND MARIO KART!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

that sounded stupid.

oh yeah well i wanna go to bed now.

nights!

A YEAR WITHOUT RAIN.

Can you feel me
When I think about you
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do
My world is an empty place

Like I've been wonderin the desert
For a thousand days ( ouhoooh )
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your faaaaaaace, baby

I'm missing you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I will survive
A day without you is like a year without raaaaaain
Ohohouh, Wooaaah wooaah wooaah

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind ( it's in my mind )
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling

It's like the ground is crumbling underneath my feet
Won't you save me
There's gonna be a monsoon
When you get back to me
Ohhhh baabyyyy

I'm missing you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love (love)
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side (side)
Don't know how I will survive
A day without you is like a year without raaaaaain
Ohohouh, Wooaaah wooaah wooaah

So let this drought come to an end
And may this desert flower again
I'm so glad you found me
Stick around me
Baby, baby, baby, whoaa
It's a world
No wonder
With you in my life
So Hurry baby, Don't waste no more time
And I need you here
I can't explain
But a day without you
Is like a year without rain
Ohhohoh

I'm missing you so much (much)
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side (side)
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ohhohoh, Woooaaahh woaahh
Ooohh, Ooooooooouuhh

mine

i was suppose to go to bed about two hours ago.

i have absolutely no mood to do so.

GAAAAAAAH ):

come one!

what's wrong with me, i mean i know i slept at one but i'm sure there's a tired bone somewhere.

your reply was exactly what i expected if you would reply in the first place.

god i miss you.

i want that hug, i want you to keep that promise you made.

Mine - Taylor Swift

Ohh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ohh, oh, oh, oh, oh

You were in college working part time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was the flight risk with the fear of fallin'
Wonderin' why we bothered with love if it never lasts

I say "Can you believe it?"
As we're lying on the couch
The moment I can see it
Yes, yes I can see it now

Do you remember we were sittin' there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learned my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we've got bills to pay
We got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take yes, yes
This is what I thought about

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Woah oh ohh

And I remember that fight 2:30 AM
Cause everything was slippin' right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye
Cause that's all I've ever known
And you took me by surprise
You said "I'll never leave you alone"

You said
"I remember how we felt sittin' by the water
And every time I look at you it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

Oh oh
Make it last
Hold on
Never turn back

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Woah oh

Yeah, yeah... Do you believe it?

Woah oh
We're gonna make it now.
Woah oh
And I can see it yeah, yeah
And I can see it now, See it now, See it now

miss you

i miss you.

isn't that ever good enough a reason?

i sure as hell think it is.

anyone else wanna second that?

anyone?

i miss you - miley cyrus

You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

[CHORUS:]
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

[CHORUS]

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

[CHORUS x2]

(I miss you)

airplanes

today was kind of a slow day.

Woke up at 4am to shower and wake myself up before heading to the airport.

unable to find everyone but jin saw me,

all of us looked dead, though i reckon i was lucky to get 4 hours of sleep.

had breakfast with loads of crapping. it was fun,

gonna miss ammiel's retardedness, hahaha!

yeah then went home with everyone else, i think we all wanted to just go home and go back to bed.

reached home at about 7?

bus was empty which kinda freaked me out a little.

then fell asleep at 8 and woke up at 12 thanks to little sisters who shout for no reason but as a mean of communication.

yeah and i've been msning and tumblring ever since.

oh what a joy the holidays are, i think it turns me into some lazy bum.

well i already am lazy so i guess im just progressing up the pig scale!

lol, gosh i still want to sleep :/

i didn't like being at the arrival halls, brought back to many painful memories. they were good ones, but they brought back so many emotions. we walked pass the gate you arrived at the first year feelings started to grow. number 47, i'll always remember that gate. it's where you left your mum's suitcase by accident and all us forgot about it until we had arrived at your new house. by the time they drove back, the police and airport security had surrounded it, thinking that it might have been a bomb. i guess looking back on it, we laugh and say how careless you were. but that night really was a stresser for everyone. i especially remember that first conversation we had. all the parents were away, it was just us kids, the rest had fallen asleep, it was awkward i guess, maybe because we didn't know what to come? well, that's how i felt. i cant seem to find an excuse for your reaction. oh and recently, i find myself despising the tanah merah mrt station. i have that horrible habit of walking all the way to the end of the train to make sure i am sitting at the end, espcially if i am alone. and when i left the rest of them today, i found myself sitting opposite your condo, knowing that i would never be able to spend time there with you again.

firework

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?"

Honestly, i do feel like that at least for one moment in a day.

usually before i go to bed or at some point where things seem wrong.

it's as if you were right at the verge of crumbling,

of almost breaking down.

about to give up.

am i one blow away from that?

cause i don't want to be.

the past, present and future.

"you don't need to be the best, just be someone who you're proud to be"

dont be ashamed of your past,

it has made you who you are

dull pains

why do we allow the pain to continue exist?

its hard to let go of im guessing.

you get used to the numbness and ache inside yourself

that you don't want to allow it to disappear.

because maybe then it didn't seem real?

but it was,

but you MUST remember something:

it was the past.

we may not know what to do next or how to solve a situation,

but i think the only solution for that is to pray.

or just talk to someone, letting it out is always a better solution then keeping it inside.

you might just feel like breaking down,

so do it.

im certain most of us wont judge,

crying comes naturally, don't refuse it.

i promise you that you'll feel better after it.

just let it out, someone will always be there to listen.

or just sit beside you.

never forget - some one will always be there.

siblings.

honestly, we fight almost everyday.

and i'm tired, please go on without me.

i've been feeling bad about it every second of the day,

most of the time when i can't fall asleep and the events of the day revisit me.

the guilt arises,

i've not been a good sister.

i don't think i've been there enough, it seems like we never "clicked"

we don't have that many thing in common, but today you broke my heart.

hearing you cry and tell me everything just shattered it there and then,

and with you not being with me i feel like a bad sister

because im not fulfilling my duty,

where was i when you needed me?

i was probably ignoring you for doing something stupid to me that pissed me off.

i'm sorry, that's sincerely all i have to say.

we fight, we scream, we cry.

it's a part of our relationship and i only hope that as you grow up that you meet friends who will treat you better and become as close to you as a sister would.

i hope that as both of us mature we build a better relationship,

a better bond.

will you forgive me for the past years?

i want to show you what it's really all about,

i want to be there to teach you.

even though you won't read this, i've told you before.

although you pushed it aside and told me to go away, im still here.

even if you've just hit me, i'll still come.

no matter what.

because i want to see you happy, no more tears.

Megaphone

I loved Resonate's message today!

learned a lot about myself and about God's plan.

He puts suffering in our lives for a reason, to help us grow.

Help us learn, cause you can only regret something you've done if you didn't learn from your mistake.

man, I think god is just pure awesomeness.

2 Corinthians 4 13-18

YOU NEED TO READ IT.

it's so moving and really helps you understand a lot!

we need to have our megaphone to show how he really is a great god who has a bigger plan

compared to what we might think

life's aim is not about having yourself and your loved ones lead a good life,

it's about leading a life to show everyone who god is and show them his might and power.

and learnt something else today.

about self-confidence and accpetance.

the only people who i should care about what they think of me are my friends and family.

like who cares what everyone else thinks?

they accept me for me, and god accepts who i am,

he'll always be there to help me along the way.

i don't need to please anyone else accept the people who matter to me.

a dream is a wish your heart makes

I like the feeling of waking up in the morning.

It's almost as if nothing happened last night and all the after maths of events have disappeared.

We can act as if nothing happened,

as if things weren't said,

as if things weren't done.

It's the feeling of freedom, of having your mind being able to soar and do whatever you want.

When you sleep, it's where you allow your imagination to come alive,

to see what your heart truly desires.

Dreams allow you to take a step away from your problems and experience something else.

Especially that something else that allows you to be happy.

That's why I like dreams, so don't mind me if I prefer sleeping.

I know, I am a pig.

Well the zodiac kinda gave most of my characteristics away!

But still, I like escaping. Sometimes imagining what might happen if things ended or began differently.

Sometimes though, it does get pretty frightening.

Thinking about all the mistakes and regrets and wondering about alternate endings.

But who cares?

What's done is done.

Mistakes allow us to grow and learn.

I want to learn (:

i'm falling to pieces.

i can feel myself being torn with feelings and opinions.

i don't know whether my choices are right,

or whether my fears are turning into realities.

inside, i can hear the shatters and the crumbles but it's being ignored.

because other people, i feel, are more important to focus on.

i wanna help others with what they're facing

because maybe, what i'm feeling won't need to be addressed.

cause i don't think its all that necessary.

i want god to take away the pain and help me.

but patience is a virtue.

and i am willing to wait.

Demi?

okay honestly, I really want to know what happened to Miss Lovato!

I know it's none of my business but I love her!

So far, I know that she's in a clinic in Chicago seeking treatment for physical and mental exhaution?

hope she's better :/

oh and it HAS been confirmed that she punched one of her dancers in Peru :(

i do not know why Demi would do something like that, but she did.

The poor dancer now has a black eye and is continuing the rest of the tour with JB.

I really hope the rumors about Joe aren't true.

It just proves how he's even more of a jerk than I thought he was!

rumors are saying that disney called him to "hook-up" with Demi in order to rack in views for Camp Rock 2, if this IS true, I just can't believe what disney has turned into!

Disney is suppose to be about bringing smiles to it's viewers, not racking in cash!

I wouldn't be surprise if Walt and Roy Disney were both turning in their graves.

Personally, if the rumors about how he and his father were in on the plan I would have probably reacted the same way.

Well minus the bullemia and self inflictions.

Hope everything's okay with her :/

and Selena and Taylor are reaching out to her!

YAY REUNION!!! :D

omg that's just ridiculous but I'm really glad!

they were my favourite friendship to watch, it was so sad to see it end cause of stupid cyrus.

but well, we shall never know what happened till she comes out of rehab so, GET WELL SOON!

so my back hurts as if someone decided to stab me,

twist the knife, remove it

and repeat that about...fourty times?

oh and i did i mention my entire right hand has gone numb?

i know. FABULOUS.

i'm suppose to be having school now

but i'm at home with a brace and ice pack attatched to my body.

sigh, thank god i didn't have to go to the hospital.

since the polyclinic was open by the time i got home,

got an injection to get rid of the pain.

nearly fainted while watching him prepare the syringe.

get over it amelia, your fifteen remember?

UGH.

okay, i shall leave now.

the drowsiness is kicking in.

man i wish i were at school.

but we cant always get what we want, right?

i bid thee audieu.

it seems as if i will never be that important.

to anyone.

it keeps getting better

life's so depressing these days.

i no longer have the energy to do anything

not to mention homework?

okay that means focusing on the important things

not obsessions amelia

get a damn grip.

especially you, gosh i need to move on

but how do i?

yesterday you said "i feel invisible"

i replied "don't worry, i'll always see you!"

you laughed, thought i was joking eh?

well no, i meant it.

i see you, i understand you.

once you said it i knew what you meant.

you were afraid, afraid that people would only see you as a pretty boy full of dirty jokes.

but i see beneath it.

right?

but you laughed.

you laughed.

ARGH.

so school today?

went by CRAWLING.

but let me tell you, buying food and brining it to school

=

one of the smartes things i've done.

saves A LOT of money (:

hehehehe.

then let's see...

oh emily came back :/

and what else? erm stoned during physics and a math though i did take notes and listen

but my mind was just clouded by other things that seemed more important then

chemistry?

fun in a way?

i like practicals, don't judge. hehehe

oh and lit.

omg so quiet without lim shan.

she needs to come backkkkkkkkkkkkk

im sorry for always leaving you alone limshan because of illnesses!

i understand how you feel now!!!

then?

chinese intensive, kinda funny.

hahahaha only ppl there understand

facebook. HAHAHAHAHA!

omg love lao shi.

she is da bomb!

oh then debate

wah piang my mind is BLOWN.

a PM speech, by myself?

are you shitting me?

i'm surprised leigh anne said it was okay.

sigh need to focus on a lot of things.

:/

life needs to get better.

seriously.

life's like garlic, it taste better after you have to fry it.

bored

honestly, i'm bored out of my mind.

and i know i should be doing homework right now.

but AHHHH ):

so many things in my head.

i want to tumblr like it's no ones business so that i can get things off my mind.

hmm let's see what happened today?

well school was REALLY slow.

kept looking at the clock but it was as if time was at a stand still.

had awesome chocolates, cookies and tuna puffs thanks to mum.

then let's see chem intensive?

helped a lot.

i kinda get the gist of how to look at questions properly now.

anyway, then training

hahaha cab rides with jo and joan are funny!

talked about the whole disney clan and their dating maze.

hehehe geddit maze?

see what i did there?

okay not funny.

yeah so training:

hmm pretty fun to watch and chitchat i guess

and both my parents refused to pick me up or at least come home despite their free-ness.

i'm sorry i am in no mood to find a replacement for that word (:

ehehehe

but i need to keep this blog alive.

REVIVE I TELL YOU.

REVIVE!!!!!

hahahah, omg something just hit my window.

freaked me out, causing me to now have a sneezing fit and making me throw my back out.

this is sooooo not fun.

ahhhh why is it you're online and i dont have the guts to talk to you?

its just one click and hello away.

but how can i?

i wont know what to say.

aaaannnnd you just said hi.

hmm i dont know whether to be scared or happy?

anyhow. i'll go answer your greeting now.

LOOK AT HIS EYES!!!!!!!

BONES APPREACIATION POST!

BOOTH: Okay, this is Special Agent Frost from the bomb unit.
FROST: Booth pulled me out of an important lunch. It took me months to set up that meeting. It better be good, Booth. (Hodgins ogles her.)
BOOTH: She’ll be working with you, Hodgins.
HODGINS: Yes, please. What? No, no. Um, hmm? Ja – Hodgins. Doc – Doctor. We’re – okay.
FROST: I beg your pardon?
HODGINS: It’s-
ANGELA: He’s Dr. Jack Hodgins. (She shakes Frost’s hand.) Angela. Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions – and him

OMG HIS SOCKS (:

OTP (less than three)

one of the best cast. ever. omg look at zack!!

first kiss :*

PARKER!!!

they are the cutest!

this dream should have totally come true!

mmhmm! you know you want to!

ahhhh :D

omg im in love with bones.

i cant stand it.

hahahahaahah!

brennan and booth!!!

and btw, david boreanaz is HAWT.

well for a 38 year old man.

anyway, since i cant sleep:

BONES APPRECIATION POST!!!

life seems to be having its ups and downs

we can all be laughing and suddenly i have the sudden urge to want to cry.

but life's like that.

gosh so many topics came up today.

especially during lit,

your name and the idea of you was brought up.

it reminded me of our last convo,

i havent talked to anyone about it yet.

it makes my stomach churn.

you kept saying you want to come back,

i want you to come back too.

i want that day where we were just sitting looking through that magazine and i was lying on your shoulder.

i always imagine what i might have said if i realised that that was the last time i saw you here.

then i just saw your fb.

gosh, you make me go on a high.

that's not something i am comfortable with.

i want you here, not necessarily with me.

just in the same damn country at least.

ahhh i want to visit you. so badly.

anyway, haven't done any homework.

no mood.

cant be bothered.

i'll do them at school tmr morning.

hopefully tmr will be better.